Friends – they make life worth living. Sure, sometimes they flake out from picking you up at the airport five minutes before landing because they “don’t have the mental space to deal with the parking lot’s chaotic energy.” But a good friend can turn an otherwise dark day into a bright one. They can also turn a mediocre day into a nightmare by tagging you in an unapproved, over-exposed Instagram post that makes your under-eye circles look like half-eaten Oreos.
The bottom line? Friends can be difficult. But, much like its namesake sitcom, Friends, sometimes you need to put up with them when Comedy Central isn’t airing reruns of The Office and you’ve already clicked through today’s Daily Mail Snapchat story. What does make friendship a fulfilling experience, however, is a shared enthusiasm for the public good and common causes. Volunteering, campaigning, or debating with friends is enriching and, if done well, can make you a more well-rounded and compassionate person. Midnight discussions on education policy or Beto O’Rourke’s ridiculous Vanity Fair cover make for strong and lasting bonds cemented by shared visions and a commitment to bettering one’s community.
But what about the friends who aren’t civically engaged? The friends who are noncontroversial and disengaged to the point of being bland? The Friends of your friends? Thankfully, navigating friendships with these unanchored creatures is easier than it looks.
- Use your local preschool’s reading list as a conversation guide: Your politically apathetic friends might be incapable of talking or learning about issues like climate change and religious freedom. They might be afraid of taking a controversial stance. To accommodate these friends, refer to your local preschool’s annual reading list for conversation material. Thumbing through the pages of If You Give a Mouse a Cookie can make for a compelling and spirited back-and-forth about rodent eating habits. To avoid difficult debates on welfare policy, steer clear of The Giving Tree.
- Leave your friend on the metaphorical beach volleyball court: To spare your friend the embarrassment of hearing you express your opinions, leave the room each time you feel an opinion rising in your vocal chords. Use of this technique is well-documented among the elite. Consider the example of a Swedish Olympic beach volleyball player who, when asked by her partner if she would be able to set up for a spike, walked off the court to spare her politically apathetic partner the embarrassment of needing to engage in conversation. If you’re forced to provide an opinion — for instance, while deciding which movie to watch at the theater — emulate your friend’s political engagement process by choosing a handful of wealthy white men and following them into the movie of their choice.
- Steer clear of media with political references or imagery: Aim for an environment which only includes apathetic and nonpolitical media. For instance, swap the offensively political Election (in which a mid-20s Reese Witherspoon plays a plucky, self-assured young woman vying for power) for the beachy Big Little Lies (in which a mid-40s Reese Witherspoon plays a plucky, self-assured middle-aged woman vying for power — she plays to type). Alternatively, ask your apathetic friend how they feel about history — some may oppose watching the History Channel, while others see the past as blissfully removed from our current reality. Teach them the importance of learning our world’s history. After all, those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat history class. If social and political change won’t motivate them, a D in AP World History might.
